The other day we were driving into the neighborhood, and Donia mentioned that it was starting to feel a bit more like home. I wasn’t terribly surprised to hear her say this, because I had been feeling the same way. I think what it boils down to is routine. Partly from having 6 months under our belt and partly from not running from one crisis to another, we’ve established a routine here. In some ways, that routine is the same as what we had in Rochester; in other ways, it’s very different. But just the fact that we have established something is enough to make it feel like home – home is where you live out your routines.
Another thing I have been thinking about lately is how surprised I am over how much I still think about the people I used to work with and go to church with. I’m not surprised that I still miss them, but they float through my mind on a fairly regular basis and I wonder what they are up to and how they are doing. I’m thinking now that the two topics are related. The more we have our own routine here, the more it highlights the things that are missing from the old routine. For me, the people at work were certainly a huge part of that. Whether or not I felt like I had a close personal relationship with them, I was seeing them and talking with them on a daily basis. That accumulates to something significant over 10 years. Even aside from the time factor, the relationships at CompTIA are very different because of the way we work together and the sizes of the teams. We also haven’t quite found a church home yet, though we have found some individuals that we have connected with, so there’s nothing at all replacing that routine.
I had a couple conversations on Facebook yesterday where this came up. It was really nice to connect, and it was also nice to be able to say that I missed seeing them around and to hear that they felt the same way. One of my favorite quotes is “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” This whole moving thing continues to be very bittersweet, but I suppose I could modify the quote to be “Don’t cry because you miss them. Smile because you’re missed.” It’s good to have friends, even if the connections have become something very different from what they were. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m very glad to be on Facebook to keep those connections going. I’m hoping that this year there are a few chances to meet people face-to-face, rather than avatar-to-avatar.
